Shameless: Season 1, Episode 8: Top Lines

Frank upon learning he was unconscious for 2 days:

“That’s nothing, back in ’95 I was out for 8 days …”

The Doctor and Frank:

Dr: “In my career I’ve never seen such a spectacular display on alcoholism.”

F: “Thank you.”

Dr: “Would you be able to abstain from using alcohol for 2 weeks?”

F: “No.”

Dr: “We could offer you three thousand dollars.”

F: “Yes.”

Kev to the social worker:

“Religious sect? Like a cult?”

Frank in his return to the Alibi Room:

“I’m sober as a 7-year-old, haven’t had a drink in two days … well granted I’ve been unconscious for most of it.”

Frank continues:

“I figured if I can abstain from alcohol while I’m out, how hard can it be to do when I’m awake?”

And finally he asks of his fellow patrons:

“I’d like you all to not drink too – in solidarity – like school children when shave their head for the cancer kid.”

Kev and Ethel:

E: “I haven’t done my chores today.”

K: “Como se huh?”

The professor on Lip’s excuse of not wanting to deal with loans if he goes to college:

“You’re a clever kid, you’ll find a way to stiff Uncle Sam.”

The professor’s parting advice:

“Wear a condom Phillip.”

Frank after trying Debbie’s Hawaiian Punch:

F: “It’s so good, why is it so good?”

D: “It’s all sugar.”

F: “Can we get more of this?”

Fiona and Lip:

F: “Kev and V are on their way over with meat sauce.”

L: “Is that a euphemism?”

Lip and Carl:

C: “Paintball rocks, I had the best day of my life!”

L: “Did you wear a faceguard?”

C: “Nope!”

An only-sober Frank moment:

Lip: “Well, drunk or sober you’re still an asshole.”

Debs: “Lip.”

Frank: “It’s ok Deb, everybody’s got a right to his own opinion that’s what makes this country of ours so great.”

Kev and Ethel:

K: “Listen, I know the bible says you get closer to God and crap if you sew the holes in my socks, but this is wrong, it’s Saturday and in my house the way to get closer to God on Saturday is to play.”

E: “Is that in Ezekiel?”

K: “Yeah, the updated version.”

Debs to Lip:

“We have to kill the turtle.”

Fiona’s instructions to Carl, put in charge of cutting off Franks alcohol monitor:

“Just bracelet, no bone.”