Shameless: Season 1, Episode 12: Top Lines

The detective talking to Lip:

D: “Phillip Gallagher … no relation to our favorite overnight guest Frank I hope?

L: “Son.”

D: “Your Frank’s kid and this is your first felony bust? Getting a little late start for a L: Gallagher aren’t you?”

L: “Slow study, I guess.”

Steve and his boss:

Boss: “What happened to you?”

Steve: “Pick-up hockey game.”

Boss: “What were you? The puck?”

Ethel siding with V who said Lip and Ian need a legit lawyer:

“She’s right, my husband’s public defender never even met Clyde before his arraignment then suggested he plead guilty to child molestation and sexual abuse.”

(Awkward silence from the room)

Debs returns to the Lischman's:

Mrs. L: “More cookies to sell?”

D: “Is Jimmy here?”

Mrs. L: “No, he’s back at school in Michigan.”

D: “No, he’s living 96 blocks away on the South Side, dating my sister, stealing cars, and going by the name of Steve.”

Fiona and Carl: 

F: “Carl go help Veronica with dinner”

C: “I helped with breakfast”

F: “You pulled out a cereal bowl.”

Lip and Fiona:

L: “Hey, Fiona … I’m gay.”

F: “I know.”

L: “I should have told you a long time ago, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

F: “You’re still on my shit list.”

Another Frank rant:

“Hannah Montana … those oversexed kids on Glee? Think they’re selling good wholesome all-American fun? Hell no – flesh and underage temptation! You can look, but oh no, you can’t touch!”

Steve offering Tony the house:

T: “You paid for the house in cash?”

S: “It’s a shitty neighborhood, I could’ve bought two”

T: “How many cars have you stolen?”

Carl and Fiona:

C: “You figure out what you’re going to do to them yet?”

F: “Huh?”

C: “Punishment? Ground them for a year?”

F: “Nothing, I’m not their mother.”

C: “So, I can steal a car and nothing will happen to me?”

F: “You steal a car and I’ll smother you in your sleep.”

Frank trying to weasel some cash out of Sheila:

F: “I know a guy who sells cars, why don’t you give me the money, I’ll find her something nice.”

S: “Maybe a Volvo? I heard those are real safe…”

Steve to Fiona, on why he can’t just turn himself in:

“Look at me … I can’t go to jail, I might as well wear heals.”

Steve’s final pitch:

“Come with me Fiona. How long is it going to be about them and not about you? When are you finally going to do something for yourself? … Liam’s two – sixteen more years until he’s out of the house … you’ll be what? 37? 38? And who says Frank’s done dumping babies in your lap to raise? You deserve a life of your own.”

Lip afterwards:

“He’s right … you should go Fiona, you’ve done more than enough – we’ll be alright.”

Frank:

“It’s like the moon orbiting the Earth. These things show up and you know you shouldn’t, but then you do and then you don’t know what to do … but we can’t hold it against her, she’s young and carefree. I mean, we’re the victims here, you and me.”

He continues:

“The bible says, it is blessed to forgive son, and that forgiveness is the first step on the stairway to heaven.”