Shameless: Season 1, Episode 7: Top Lines

The Goons:

“Today is put your head in the toilet day, you know what that makes tomorrow Frank? … Put your head in the trash compactor day.”

V to Fiona:

“You work at a bakery and all you stole was bread? Where’s the crullers and turnovers?”

Debs with the bad news:

D: “Upstairs bathroom”

F: “What?”

D: “What used to be the toilet is now the tub.”

Fiona after being told by Steve that he left Liam at Sheila’s:

“You left Liam where? He’s not dry cleaning – you can’t just drop him off!”

Steve to Sheila:

St: “Can you look after Liam”

Sh: “I’d love to! I can keep him in my room until Karen goes off to college.”

St: “Actually, just for one night.”

Sh: “Oh, ok – well we’ll have the best slumber party ever!”

Steve pleading to Fiona:

“You know when a plane starts going down and they tell you to put your mask on before helping anyone else? Put your mask on Fiona!”

After finding out all the Gallagher kids have credit card debt, courtesy of Frank:

Fiona: “He used our names to get cards”

Carl: “Coool, I just got a subscription to Penthouse.”

Fiona confronting Frank:

Fiona: “Do you know how much debt your kids are in now?”

Frank: “7500 – I couldn’t get them to raise the limit.”

Classic Frank:

“I didn’t cause the downfall of the American economy … the President said spend, I spent – where’s my purple heart?”

Linda on Kash:

“How could a man who fathered 2 children have no balls? It’s a medical mystery!”

Sheila giving Liam the choice of which toy to play with:

“Oooh, which one do you like better? The baby or the whore?”

V on bringing in a foster kid:

“Kev really wants a kid, I convinced him to rent before we own”

V to Fiona:

V: “You need to unwind girl”

F: “You sound like Steve”

V: “He may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point”

Frank to his kids:

“Raise of hands, how many of you at one point or another wanted to see me dead?”

(All hands shoot up…)

Linda to Ian, after finding out about him and Kash:

“You’re not fired … my opinion – you could do better”

Frank purchasing a TV on his new credit card:

“Mr. Gallagher? Is my dad here? … Call me Liam!”