Shameless: Season 1, Episode 2: Top Lines

Lip and Ian talking post-headbutt:

L: “You should have hit him back”
I: “If I ever do I’ll fucking kill him”

L: “So? 8-10 manslaughter, get laid as often as you want, tattoos and everything, it’s gay heaven man.”

Ian discussing Carl's breakfast with Steve

“They’re his tits, it’s the only reason he eats eggs.”

Lip threatening Kev:

“No more freebies from me like doing your taxes every April because you can’t understand the directions.”

Fiona to Debs, after hearing of a dead body:

“It’s Holly she’s been in 3^rd grade for 4 years. I’m gonna deck that little bitch.”

Frank in (Canadian) prison: 

“How the hell did I end up in Canada? I hate fucking Canada, I’m an American – Apple Pie, lower 48, air supply…”

(It continues...)

“Why I would I want to come to Canada? So your national healthcare can make me wait sixty years for a new kidney? The whole country is a bunch of parka-wearing, draft-dodging, chicken shit, cowards who didn’t have the balls to stay home and fight the Vietcong to preserve our American way of life.”

Frank's prison rant, Part 3:

“No snow at the Winter Olympics? What the hell was that? … It’s the WINTER Olympics! … You couldn’t even get the fucking torch to light right!”

Fiona confronting Frank after the head-butt:

“Don’t you ever hit one of my kids again.”

Frank after Sheila offers him some of Eddie's clothes:

F: “Won’t Eddie miss them?”

S: “Not unless he sheds 30 pounds … he found Jesus and just packed it on.”

Poor Frank, looking for sympathy - and getting it: 

“If desperate’s a crime, then I’m a lifer Sheila.”